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Table of ContentsCommunication

Communication - 2 / 11 / 2003
the importance of clear communication
differences in cultural backgrounds [see Value Systems]
    implicit messages
        assumptions about the basic structure of the world
    explicit messages
        laws, traditions, customs
    the word can have negative connotations
    affects interpretation of messages
    the sum of our own life experiences
        different for each person
        cultural baggage
            acquired while young - before 9
            mother culture [see Ecology]
                implicit rather than explicit
        personal baggage
            superstitious learning
                alters world-view
limitations on social interactions
    [see Anthropology & Psychology]
    "real" humans
        maximum number: 25
        the other
            four orders of foreignness  
                 - Demosthenes / Valentine Wiggins
                    Speaker for the Dead - Orson Scott Card
                    - a stranger of our world, human, but of another city / country
                    from same culture but a different location
                    - a stranger, human, but not of our world
                    from a different culture
                    - a stranger, human, but of another species
                    an anthropomorphized being
                    - animals, with which no conversation is possible
                    living, but little or nothing in common
            dealing with relational differences
                holding a bird
                too tight
                    the culture of fundamentalism
                        the truth
                        text over experience
                        strictly by the "book"
                                - An authoritative principle, belief, or statement of ideas or opinion, 
                                    especially one considered to be absolutely true. [AHD3]
                        us vs them
                        elimination of the other
                        the irreversibility of "evil"
                            the final solution
                too loose
                    the culture of consumerism
                        image over relatedness
                        from giving ==> to selling
                            art ==> advertising
                            poetry ==> jingles
                            debate ==> posturing
                            love ==> sentimentality / indulgence
                            sexuality ==> pornography
                            struggle ==> convience
                            humor ==> sarcasm / mockery
                            participation ==> spectatorship
                        indifference & addiction
                        acquisition & consumption
                        privacy over communitas
                            not in public life / community bonds of shared beliefs and experiences
                        maxima not optima
                            more is better
                            faster is better
                        degrees of distortion through imagery
                            1) reflects reality
                                    the map is not the territory
                            2) masks / perverts reality
                                the poor and the police
                                    "to serve (the rich) and protect (their property)"
                                    "we print all the news that fits"
                            3) masks absence of reality
                                we're not doing anything, and stop bothering us about it
                                    "all possible steps are being taken"
                                political campaign "promises"
                                    "if I'm elected, I'll…"
                                working on the symptoms, and ignoring the problem
                                    "the war on drugs"
                            4) has no relation to reality
                                make of car equals sex appeal / social status / ability to provide
                        manipulation of symbols to stimulate
                                relying on stimulation rather than logic, to make the sale
                neither too tight nor too loose
                    - holding and integrating two disparate frames of reference
    psychological shorthand
        pattern recognition
You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation - Deborah Tannen
    message & metamessage - information about the message
            - places the message in context
            alignment / position
            perceived context may not be intended context [especially between genders]
    different cultures for men & women [see Gender]
        genderlect - different worlds / different words [meanings]
                symmetry - equal
                small groups or pairs
                intimacy determined by relative closeness
                express preferences as suggestions
                everyone gets a turn
                no winners or losers
                don't stand out [conform to the "group"]
                create community - egalitarian
                rapport talk
                focus is on metamessage & framing
                asymmetry - ranked
                larger groups [than women]
                status determined by giving orders & making them stick
                take center stage
                extended turns
                winners & losers
                boasting about skills
                manage contest
                    establish order
                    taxonomy in boys' development
                        - classification of organisms in an ordered system
                            that indicates natural relationships [AHD3]
                report talk
                focus is on content
    sensitivity training for men
        judged by women's standards
        what they really mean
            increased abilities to detect others' attempts at intimacy and to appropriately reciprocate
    assertive training for women
        judged by men's standards
        what they really mean
            increased abilities to determine others' status and to increase your own
        part of being human
        talking about
        talking against
    gender roles: protector & protected
    lecturing & listening
    complementary schismogenesis
        - mutually aggravating spiral of responses
            pressing hot buttons
The Courage to Love: Principles and Practices of Self-Relations Psychotherapy
    - Stephen Gilligan  

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