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Table of ContentsGender

Gender - 8 / 25 / 2002
sexual dimorphism
sexual strategies
    men - multiple partners
    women - single partner who will stick around & help raise children
You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation
    gender distinctions - touchy area / lots of hot buttons
    different cultures for men & women
    genderlect - different worlds / different words [meanings]
    message & metamessage
            perceived context may not be intended context [especially between genders]
        asymmetry in communication [see Communication]
            social ranking by implication
        seeks intimacy - connection
        equality - best friends
            avoid being different
            give intimate details
            gain closeness - community
        harmony & peace
            maintain thru compromise & evasion
        give praise - rapport
        seek to be liked
        share doubts
        female friends sit closer together & look directly at each other
        seeks independence - status
        hierarchy - the gang
            avoid being put 'down'
            give orders
            negotiate status - contest
        expertise & skill
            display thru results & evasion
        give information - report
        seek center stage
        keep doubts to self
        male friends sit at angles & rarely look directly at each other
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
        value power, competency, efficiency, & achievement
        self defined thru ability to achieve results
        interested in objects & things
        talk conveys information
        only wants advice if requesting it
        under stress retreats into silence until problem is solved or until distracted
        wants silence in which to think
        the cave & its dragon
        man as a rubberband - retreat & approach
        argumentive strategy - fight or flight
        need to offer support
        value love, communication, beauty, & relationships
        self defined thru sharing personal feelings in relationships
        interested in people & feelings
        talk expresses feelings
        needs people to listen
        under stress talks until feeling is resolved
        wants understanding & support not advice
        woman as a wave - cyclic ups & downs
        argumentive strategy - fake or fold
        need to ask directly for support
    female: primary / secondary needs
    male: secondary / primary needs
            caring / trust
            understanding / acceptance
            respect / appreciation
            devotion / admiration
            validation / approval
            reassurance / encouragement
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus - John Gray
The Stone Age Present - William F. Allman
You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation - Deborah Tannen

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