|
Gender - 8 / 25 / 2002
sexual dimorphism
sexual strategies
men - multiple partners
women - single partner who will stick around & help raise children
You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation
sociolinguist
gender distinctions - touchy area / lots of hot buttons
different cultures for men & women
genderlect - different worlds / different words [meanings]
message & metamessage
metaframing
perceived context may not be intended context [especially between genders]
asymmetry in communication [see Communication]
ambiguous
social ranking by implication
females
seeks intimacy - connection
equality - best friends
avoid being different
give intimate details
gain closeness - community
harmony & peace
maintain thru compromise & evasion
give praise - rapport
seek to be liked
share doubts
female friends sit closer together & look directly at each other
males
seeks independence - status
hierarchy - the gang
avoid being put 'down'
give orders
negotiate status - contest
expertise & skill
display thru results & evasion
give information - report
seek center stage
keep doubts to self
male friends sit at angles & rarely look directly at each other
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
therapist
martians
value power, competency, efficiency, & achievement
self defined thru ability to achieve results
interested in objects & things
talk conveys information
only wants advice if requesting it
under stress retreats into silence until problem is solved or until distracted
wants silence in which to think
the cave & its dragon
man as a rubberband - retreat & approach
argumentive strategy - fight or flight
need to offer support
venusians
value love, communication, beauty, & relationships
self defined thru sharing personal feelings in relationships
interested in people & feelings
talk expresses feelings
needs people to listen
under stress talks until feeling is resolved
wants understanding & support not advice
tete-a-tete
woman as a wave - cyclic ups & downs
argumentive strategy - fake or fold
need to ask directly for support
female: primary / secondary needs
male: secondary / primary needs
caring / trust
understanding / acceptance
respect / appreciation
devotion / admiration
validation / approval
reassurance / encouragement
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus - John Gray
The Stone Age Present - William F. Allman
You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation - Deborah Tannen
|
|